As you might have heard, my ex-friend's ex-boyfriend, Haskell, is totally into me. And despite his initial creepy tendencies, I've been won over. The only problem is I'm kind of serious with this other guy, Aidan. He's cute, relatively close to my teen prodigy amazingness, and we've been together for like two months…which is like a decade in high school years. So what's a girl to do?

 

As my flirtationship with Haskell blossomed, we began to text more and more. But Aidan already texts me about a million times a day so responding to BOTH of them has basically become a part time job. Seriously—my thumbs are verging on carpal tunnel.

 

"Want to see Zombie Buffet 3 Saturday night?" Aidan texted me the other day. We've had movie plans all week, but I thought he would have picked something way lamer.

 

"Absolutely! Can't wait!" I responded. And then the horror of a zombie apocalypse survivor crawled across my face! It wasn't Aidan, who sent that text. It was Haskell! How could I be so stupid? Just then, I got another text. This one was from Aidan… for real. "I just bought us two tickets to Winter Formal: The Musical for Saturday night!"

 

1) Now, I have plans with both boys to see movies at the same time. 2) A movie with singing high school students? Vom. #SerialDaterProblems

 

I spent the rest of the week trying to wiggle my way out of this conundrum, but every excuse I made to escape got obliterated. Whatever—I'm always up for a challenge! My movie with Aidan started fifteen minutes before the zombiefest with Haskell, so I decided to drive to the theater with Aidan and tell Haskell I would meet him there.

 

"Can you pause on the massage? You're doing a great job, but I need to use the ladies' room," I told Aidan while he rubbed my shoulders during the trailers before the movie.

 

"Didn't you just go when we got here?" he asked.

 

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be a strong and driven young woman with a small bladder in this country!?!" I yelled. Saying things like that to guys usually confuses them enough so that they don't ask any additional questions. I crawled over Aidan and hustled through the theater, making it outside just in time for Haskell to walk up.